I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
Randomize
