do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
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