You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
