In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
Randomize
