my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Randomize
