hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
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