i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
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