I hate your face
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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