i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
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