It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Randomize
