how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
Randomize
