waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
I just found puke in my bra..
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.�
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
