who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
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