I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
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