just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
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