just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
im about as happy as oj after his trial
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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