3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
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