went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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