I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
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