She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
