I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
the liver wants what the liver wants
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
Randomize
