I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
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