You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
My bed smells like the plague
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
