found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
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