I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
