mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us�
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
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