got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
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