who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
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