I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
Randomize
