Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
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