I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
