Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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