I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
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