Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
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