after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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