My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
