i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
Holy shit dude........stairs
Randomize
