You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
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