I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
