Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
