she was so not down for the gang bang
wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Randomize
