I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Randomize
