New low: just hacked my moms facebook
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Randomize
