her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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