thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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