Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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