She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
Terrible idea I love it
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
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