I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Randomize
