I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Randomize
