Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
My brain says no but my pants say off.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
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