you guys were way drunker than both of me
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Randomize
